Fireworks go BOOOOOM!

So today I went to the Fireworks capitol of our area, South Pittsburgh, Tennessee.  I visited a fireworks wholesaler for the first time in my life, and let me say that fireworks are a well branded, slick product.  And I’ve got a freelance sorta gig setting up a website for a fireworks retailer.  The purpose of the visit was to take pictures of the product for the online catalog.

So I took a few pictures.  Then found a DVD/CD with all the product pictures on it.  So I probably won’t be using the pictures I took, and really could have saved the trip up there in the first place.  But that’s okay, because I went with a couple of friends and we had a damn good time.

The most disappointing part of the trip?  We went to a wholesaler that packages his own fireworks.  That means no interesting and weird mistranslation by silly underpaid chinese children.  But the American Packaging was still interesting.

Now, I’m going to snark on a few of the product names, but this in no way is snarking on the quality of the product itself.  I’m sure they are great fireworks.  I hope so, and I hope you go to the website and by a elephant dump load of fireworks, since I’m paid on commission of sales.  But you have to look at a few of these names and admit, they are funny.

Take, for example, Exhibit A:

Loud and Nasty

Come on.  Loud and Nasty.  In a plain brown paper wrapper.  Yea, that’s subtle.  No “overtones” there.

Actually, this was our favorite packaging.  It was less…  well, just less.  And kinda intimidating.  There is no good scale in this picture, so you’ll have to take my word for it… it was large.

Now, continuing with the overtones…

Cracked Balls

yes, Cracker Balls.  Picture framing mine.  Sexual overtone…

Moving right along…

Sleeping with the fishes.

God.  I. Want. This.

Beer Boom

Because drinking + fireworks = FUN!


What all the well dressed kids take to school…

Okay, enough fun at a potential client’s expense.  Truthfully, the trip was fun, and the fireworks impressive.  And silly.  And at times a bit naughty.  But overall…  I think I’m gonna like this website.  So make sure to order plenty of them for your new years eve party.  So I can have a happy new year!