Why I’m your best friend in the coming Zombie Apocalypse.

Let me tell you something. When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, I’m your best friend. Since becoming addicted to “The Walking Dead,” I’m obviously a Zombie expert and I can assert without a doubt in my mind that I am the best friend any survivor could ever want.

To begin with, I know how to build a crossbow. Okay, so the crossbow I built is a stage prop, but I found out that it is much harder to build a “working” safe crossbow than a real one. In learning to make a fake crossbow, I learned how to make a very effective real one. So when supplies are low and bullets are precious, I’m your man. A little wood and a few tools and I can be churning out crossbows for our whole team. Plus, crossbow bolts are reusable.

Second, I have a motorcycle. And we’ve all seen how congested the interstate roads are following the dead chewing on our brains. I can slip through those tiny spaces with ease. Now I can’t help that I might be grabbed off the bike by some zombie I didn’t see hiding behind an overturned 18 wheeler, but that’s what leathers and a full face mask are for. Give me enough time free of foul bites to bring my weapons into the match.

I always carry a knife. It’s something my dad taught me. You never know when you’ll need one, and when you do, you should have one ready. No, I don’t walk around town with a machete strapped to my leg, but I would during the zombie uprising. But no zombie is going to catch me unawares during the outbreak without a sharp knife to punch into its brain.

I’m a good shot. Dad was also a competitive shooter for most of his life. I know how to shoot and shoot well. So until those precious bullets get scarce, you want me on a long gun keeping those animated corpses as far away as possible.

I’m also handy with a shotgun, and nothing slows down a herd of zombies like blasts from a shotgun. Except a canon. Or being run over by a big ass truck. But barring those, I’m pretty good with a shotgun.

So let’s face it. I’m Daryl. And you know, when the corpses are walking, you want Daryl on your side.

(Editor’s Note: I’m watching Walking Dead on Netflix.  Season Three is not out yet on the service.  Please, no spoilers in the comments.)

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