It’s all about the first rule.

This is a fictional view of the first rule of policing.  It’s fictional, because I made it up.  But it is still very real.

The First Rule Of Policing.

See, you gotta understand.  There are rules to how us cops operate.  We operate inside those rules, but really it’s all about the first rule.  As long as we keep to the first rule, then everything else is fine.

What is the first rule?  I’ll tell ya.  It’s simple really.  Go Home Alive.  Doesn’t mater if the perp goes home alive, it doesn’t matter if bystanders go home alive.  All that matters is the cop goes home alive.

Let’s face it, we have a dangerous job.  That’s why they give us guns.  So we need to use those guns.  Often.  Because we always go home alive.

Cops hate those in your face types screaming about their rights.  People’s rights end when I don’t get to go home alive.  And really, when it comes to my safety, anything goes.  Anything.

Don’t believe me?  Ask the courts.  All us cops have to do is claim we were “in fear for our safety” and anything we do is forgiven.  And face it, when we do kill someone because we feared for our safety, who investigates it?  We do.  So we always win.


That’s why we get to order regular citizens around, because it’s all about our safety, not yours.  It’s us against the word, and everyone is a potential cop killer.  Every.  Single.  Person.

So the next time you see video of a cop handcuffing a 9 year old child, remember it’s all about the first rule.

The next time you see a cop slap a camera phone away from a bystander, remember it’s all about the first rule.

The next time you see video of cops beating a person to death, remember it’s all about the first rule.

That’s it.  The first rule.  Remember that the next time you call us for whatever mess you’ve made.

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