Who is @pptoas and why is she obsessed with Lynn Thomas?

More importantly, why does she think I’m Lynn Thomas?  I still don’t know who Lynn Thomas is, or why I should care.  But for whatever reason, this @pptoas person, who’s twitter handle is Penny Alesi is absolutely convinced that I’m Lynn Thomas and therefore she spent the last few days twitting about me.  She didn’t @mention me until tonight, so I didn’t know about it.  But now she has @mentioned me, and I’m no closer to understanding what this person wants, what they think I’ve done to her, or anything else!  So I’m pleading with my readers, who the hell is Penny Alesi and who on God’s green earth is Lynn Thomas?  And by all my readers, I include Bill Schmalfeldt.  Since he started doxing me as Lynn Thomas, I’d appreciate if he could come down off his twit festival and seriously answer the question of who the hell Penny Alesi is.

Here’s the first twit I got notified from her.

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Since I have no idea who Penny Alesi is, and have no idea what her beef with me is, I have no idea who she thinks I should apologize to.  I don’t know what she thinks she knows about me, but she’s wrong.  Let me say again, I am not Lynn Thomas and I have no idea who Lynn Thomas is.  But she clearly thinks I’m Lynn Thomas.

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I have no idea who owns the 4lynnthomas@gmail.com email address is, and have no intention of trying to figure it out, but if Penny Alesi is trying to scare me because she’s found my email address, it didn’t work.  I have no association with that email and never have.  As for the second, that link goes to a page listing the bibliography of Lynn Thomas.  She’s got what looks like some nifty books.  Is she a writer by profession?

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But knowing that Lynn Thomas writes books in the realm of SF/F and Fandom really doesn’t tell me who the heck she is.  And if you’re obsessed with her, I don’t quite get why sending me her bibliography is supposed to convince me of?  Am I suppose to quiver in my boots because you think I edited Chicks Dig Time Lords?  Because really, I don’t care.

Then there is this odd twit.

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I don’t even know what this means.  Nola named on Running Wolf Blog?  What in the world am I supposed to make of that?  I clicked on the link, and it takes me to the nola.com website, and it’s all a list of people graduating from Nunez Community College.  I don’t know where Nunez CC is, and don’t really care enough to look it up.  Even stranger, it’s from 2008.  There is, on the lengthy list, a Kristin Lynn Thomas graduating in some sort of certificate program for applied medical science.  Or something like that.  The point is, I have no idea how this article that originally appeared in the Times Picayune of New Orleans has anything to do with my blog.  It makes no sense at all.

I think it has something to do with my love of wolves, because yesterday there was this twit, but I wasn’t @mentioned in it.

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I don’t know what dots she’s connecting, but she’s kinda scaring me.  The obsession she spends on whoever this is she is talking about is spooky, and I wish she’d move away from me and focus on her real target.  Do real people talk like that?  Oh, and this tweet came out while I was toying with a new theme, the first of two I played with yesterday, and so far I’ve settled on the second.  At least for now.  I know she must be stalking my blog, because this is the next twit.

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Now anyone who has been reading here for any length of time, it is quite clear that all I did is change themes.  Every single one of my 333 posts (I think this will make 334) are still here, going all the way back to August 2008, when I started this blog.  So I’m more confused than ever as to why she’s taking notes & copying to documents for discovery.  Discovery of what?  I haven’t deleted any posts.  And I’ve never once written anything about Penny Alesi prior to this post.  I commented to here once, when she called me out in a post for being Lynn Thomas.  And I laughed at her.  Here’s the exchange that happened on the article I wrote congratulating the defendants on getting so many aspects of the Kimberlin v Walker et al lawsuit dismissed.  Her comment:

Why are YOU so interested in this?

– pptoas in an approved comment on this blog.

And I responded with:

Hey everybody! This is pptoas, who is the first person to accuse me of being Lynn Thomas because she couldn’t follow a couple of simple links! She has harassed me on twitter and now, it would seem she has come here to harass me. Unfortunately for her, it is not her bandwidth, so I’m not going to put up with her weird rambling and lame accusations. Goodbye, Penny.

– me in reply to pptoas comment.

That wasn’t the first time she posted on my blog.  She also sent this comment to my page about why I use the name Running Wolf.

Hey, I know someone else that had that last name. She’s not thrilled that you are using it by the way.

– pptoas in an approved comment on a page on this blog.

And of course, I responded with my usual kid gloves.

I really don’t care what your someone else is. I don’t even know what you mean by this message. Care to explain? Why would anyone care that they have the same last name as me? Are you implying that I’m using a pseudonym? Are you implying that this “Someone” is going to sue me because we have the same name?

More importantly, are you the piece of shit that convinced Bill that I was Lynn? Because not 24 hours after you called me Lynn on Twitter, Bill is calling me Lynn here. And you’re both stupid for even thinking that. Did you bother looking past the last two weeks on this blog? Are you mentally deficient in some way? I ask, because that’s a better answer than you’re just too lazy to take a small peak at just this blog and realize how amazingly stupid such a thing is. So which is it, stupid or lazy? You’ve no problems commenting here about me, my last name, and whatnot, but what about you? Who the fuck are you? Why is your wordpress private? What are you hiding inside that either stupid or lazy head?

– me in reply to pptoas comment

So that’s twice on this blog I’ve denied being Lynn Thomas.  And even faildoxer Bill Schmalfeldt managed to quickly figure out that I’m not Lynn Thomas.  He even admitted it on this Blog.

Mike, I’ve just been looking at your Facebook page. Sent a friend request in fact. I must say, I find your obsession with me baffling. I have nothing to do with you, you have nothing to do with me, and yet you have devoted your blog and your Facebook toward furthering my defamation. Earlier today, someone suggested that you were someone else. But if you are, you have created one dandy second life.

– Bill Schmalfeldt in an unapproved comment on this blog.

He also did it on an approved comment.

I was doing you a favor, Mike. Instead of just taking someone’s word, I did my own checking.

– Bill Schmalfeldt in an approved comment on this blog.

So who’s word was it, Bill?  Could it have been this pptoas person who can’t seem to get it through her head that I’m not Lynn Thomas, have never been Lynn Thomas, don’t know Lynn Thomas, and don’t really care that pptoas is obsessed with Lynn Thomas, except that for some strange reason that I don’t understand, she thinks I’m Lynn Thomas.

But wait!  What’s that at the bottom of my blog?  Is it my About Me widget?  And does it not provide links to my Facebook, Twitter, WordPress and LinkedIn pages?  Which is how Bill “checked up” on me, including sending me a friend request after I’ve made it clear I’d only ever interact with him on this blog.  Suddenly the only thing in my life more creepy than Bill Schmalfeldt is pptoas.  And that’s really saying something.

So pptoas, or Penny, or whoever the fuck you are, here’s your chance.  Say your peace.  Prove to me that I’m not a 6’4″ biker from Alabama, and that I’m this Lynn Thomas person.  And while you’re at it, explain to me who the fuck Lynn Thomas is.  And why I should give a rat’s ass about her.  Or you.  And don’t go all mystical on me like the first time I asked you to explain.  You remember that, right?  You first hit me up on twitter, and I asked you what the fuck you were talking about, and you just gave me a cryptic “oh, you know.”  Thanks for making that crystal murky clear.  So now, try typing it all out, type slow, so I can read it, and tell me exactly what the fuck your beef is with me.

Update
According to this article, Miss Alesi is HIV positive do to Jake Idema. That could explain much of the obsession.

Update II If what i’ve read is true, you have my sympathy, Penny.  But I’m not who you think I am.

Update III Penny, the things I’ve learned tonight, I truly sympathize.  But I’m no friend of Jack, no friend of yours, and no friend of anyone you may know.  Please leave me alone.

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A case for Apology

H/T to Scott Greenfield for this…

Before I begin, I need to quote from Gilbert Gottfried.

Let me begin by saying I’m sorry. I’m truly, deeply, unequivocally sorry. I apologize to the people I offend with this essay, and I apologize to the people who aren’t sure why they’re offended but are pretty sure they should be. I don’t know how I live with myself, and I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.

– Gilbert Gottfried in a post at Playboy.com

Gottfried wrote that as the opening to his article in Playboy about how to handle internet outrage at whatever it is you’ve joked about.  He called it his “Preemptive Apology,” and goes on to explain why he didn’t mean it.  Or any other apology his handlers have ever written and released for him.  He details all the times he’s gotten fired for his jokes, including AFLAC, Belinda Carlisle, and others.  But he’s Gilbert Gottfried, and he’s known to be a vile and disgusting comic.  And very damn funny.  If you’ve never caught his stand up act, you should.  Just go in knowing there is a good chance you’ll be offended.

But the best part of his lengthy diatribe about apologizing for making a joke is this test, What Would Pamela Andersen Do?  Here’s how Gottfried explained it.

I did the David Hasselhoff Comedy Central Roast in 2010, and before the show somebody involved in running the thing told me that Anderson had agreed to take part at the last second. “So go a little easy on her,” they said, which is the worst thing you can ever say to me. Ninety percent of my speech was devoted to making jokes about Anderson’s vagina and whether it would ever be tight again. I’m not going to go into specifics, but let’s just say the punch line involved a genie from a magic lamp screaming, “There’s nothing that can be done about Pamela Anderson’s pussy!”

Afterward, when the show was over and everybody was shaking hands and pretending not to be pissed off, Anderson gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, “I hate you.” That’s all she said. She didn’t demand an apology or tell me she was going to ruin my career. All she said was “I hate you.” And that was the end of it.

The next time you hear a joke that offends your gentle sensibilities, I want you to ask yourself this simple question: What would Pamela Anderson do? Do you have the same emotional maturity as somebody with gigantic fake breasts whose main cultural contribution is running in slow motion on the beach? Can you take a joke better than, or at least as well as, Pamela Anderson?

– Gilbert Gottfried in a post at Playboy.com

Does this count as Rule 5? Image Credit The Independent.

So there you have it.  Are you as emotionally mature as Pamela Anderson?  That’s the real question.  Do you shrug it off, or do you go screaming for their head.  Because, seriously, no one has ever been killed by a joke.  Ever.

That’s not the same thing as saying a joke in bad taste need be ignored.  But the best defense against free speech is more free speech.  Just do it with the same emotional maturity as Pamela Andersen.  Talk about how it’s vile and disgusting, don’t demand an apology from someone who isn’t apologetic.  If Gilbert Gottfried offends you, don’t listen to him.  Don’t read his writings.  Explain yourself to the sponsors, take your business elsewhere, and don’t visit his inter webs.  But don’t act like a loose vagina bimbo with a lower emotional maturity level than Pamela Andersen and demand that the crude comic not be crude, that he be forced to apologize or threaten his career with lawsuits and blacklistings.  Besides being a big old baby, all you’re doing is giving the crude comic more crude things to mock you with.  You can’t put the genie back into the bottle after he’s declared there is nothing that can be done about your pussy.

I wish Gottfried sold WWPAD tee shirts.  Or those cool rubber wristbands.  I’ve a few online people I’d like to send them too.

Who’s obsessed with what?

Bill Schmalfeldt decided to accuse your host of something rather vile and disgusting on this blog earlier this morning.  So I thought I’d take the time to run the numbers and just see who was obsessed with what.  Here’s what Schmalfeldt had to say.

I don’t understand your obsession with anal rape.

– Bill Schmalfeldt in an approved comment on this blog

Since, outside of this blog post, anal rape has been brought up three times, once about Schmalfeldt, once by Schmalfeldt and once by the anonymous target of What they really meant to say.. I don’t think obsession is really the correct word here.  So I thought I’d broaden the search a bit, and figure out exactly how many times the word “rape” was used on this blog, and who used it.  I limited the search to actual blog posts and approved comments.

Here are the results by who used the word “rape” and how many times it was used.

Me:  8 times, or 28.6%
Bill:   5 times, or 17.9%
Quotes:   9 times, or 32.1%
Commenters:  6 times, or 21.4%

So, by far, the most frequent single user of the word “rape” on this blog is me.  But am I obsessed?  I wrote an article about date rape on college campuses, and how it has gotten out of hand how easy it is for women to accuse men of rape, regardless of the situation (at least to the college administration if not to the police).  So including a post, much like this one, that is actually about rape doesn’t seem exactly accurate.  I’ll note that I not once described a rape in that article, I just referred to a specific case of a rape accusation.

If we remove that post from consideration, the numbers change to this.

Me: 3 times, or 17.6%
Bill: 5 times, or 29.4%
Quotes: 5 times, or 29.4%
Commenters: 4 times, or 23.5%

I’ll note that in both cases, Quotes and Commenters represent multiple people.

Now personally, I don’t find any evidence of obsession with anyone.  To date, I’ve written over 320 posts, and outside of the one (now two) posts specifically about rape, I’ve used the word 3 times.  (once about TSA “pat down rape”, once about rape shaming, and once about Schmalfeldt’s own writings)  Even Schmalfeldt, who’s anus/ass/butt references are legendary, only mentioned anal rape once, and that was when he was accusing me of being obsessed with it.  (Which is humorous on it’s own)

Using the logic of Bill Schmalfeldt, if it is defamatory and untrue then it is libel.  Since the data doesn’t support the accusation, and since I don’t resort to meaningless threats of litigation, I respectfully ask Schmalfeldt to retract the statement for the reasons of his own logic.  I will stipulate that the hypothetical reasonable person who is mildly familiar with the situation would not think Schmalfeldt statement could reasonably be true, so I don’t think it is libel and is, instead, a typical example of Schmalfeldt unsuccessful attempt at humor, which falls short of humorous statements about the intended target and instead puts him squarely in the center as the object of ridicule.