The Life and Times of Oliver Wendell Jones

A look at Twitter and there is currently a kerfuffle over the lack of intelligence of Oliver Wendell Jones.  This is my rebuttal, and I will attempt to prove that Jones was a national treasure that left us too soon.

Jones, by all accounts, was a child prodigy.  After he conned his parents into purchasing a Banana 6000 computer, Jones quickly studied and learned the art of Hacking, and was responsible for some of the most amazing hacks of the late 80’s and early 90’s.  Once, Jones hacked into the New York Times and changed a headline that read “Reagan Calls Women ‘America’s Greatest Resource'” to read “Reagan Calls Women ‘America’s Lil’ Dumplin’s'” to the digest of feminists everywhere.  Who can forget the White House lawn littered with dumplings after the 1987 Dumpling Attack lead by feminists nationwide?

In addition to being a hacker, Jones was an accomplished inventor.  He built an atomic bomb for a middle school science project, which got him promptly expelled.  He then went on to invent the Electro-photo pigmentizer, a device designed to darken the skin tone of anyone flashed by it.  Jones planned on using the Electro-photo pigmentizer on the Ambassador of South Africa in a misguided attempt to bring down apartheid.

Perhaps his greatest achievement was beating Stephen Hawking to the Grand Unification Theory.  His first proof was nearly disastrous, when he almost wiped out of existence his best friend, Opus, but at the last possible second, realized he forgot to carry a 2, and the crisis was averted.  However, it did start a bitter feud between Hawking and Jones that continued until Jones untimely disappearance.

Jones mysteriously disappeared in 1995, last seen at a cafe named Outland in Bloom County, New York.  He is now believed to be deceased, although rumors have circulated that he was hanging around newsstands all over the country in the mid-2000’s.  This has not been confirmed.

All images associated with this post are the copyright of Berkeley Breathed, whom I hold in the highest esteem, and hope he will forgive me for the unauthorized use of his work.  If a certain adjudicated harasser wishes to contact Breathed and report my use of his copyright, I hope he includes his use of Oliver Wendell Jones, so that perhaps Breathed will get as big a laugh as the rest of us.  In an effort to make up for using Breathed’s copyrighted material without permission, here is a great link to his books and merchandise.  Go relive the best political cartoonist of all time. I already have all his books.  

 UPDATE: I’m not sure who got to Bloom County first, but you should look at Hogewash’s take as well.

Yes, we are looking different.

I’ve been unhappy with my theme for quite a while, but hadn’t found anything I liked better.  Till now.  I don’t know if I’m in love with this new theme, but I do like how much cleaner the blog looks with it.  I’ll experiment with it for a while, and see if I grow to love it, or if I get annoyed with it.  At any rate, I’d imagine that there will be a few aesthetic changes going on around here for a week or two till I’m happy with the looks again.


Changed again.  I like this one a little better.  Two themes in one day, I’m exhausted.


I’m liking this theme more and more.  Open to more suggestions.

Happy Fourth Of July!


This picture was not taken on the Fourth of July, but on February 2, 2013 from the lake in front of the Magic Kingdom in Florida’s Walt Disney World Resort.  However, I think it captures the spirit of the day.  The photo was taken with a Nikon 5100 with a Nikkor 18-55mm zoom set at 45mm.  Copyright 2013, Michael Malone.  All rights reserved.


Things Don’t Go Well For WJJHoge

Judge Hollander has released her motion to deny a preliminary injunction against Bill Schmalfeldt in the Copyright Infringment suit Hoge v Schmalfeldt.  In addition to denying the injunction, Judge Hollander significantly attacks the merits of Hoge’s case, and from reading the memorandum, Hoge is facing an uphill battle in continuing the case.  Hoge’s “Fine Print” is used more than once in the memorandum to show that the is currently not evidence that Hoge can win on the merits of the case.

This is not a case in which the defendant has sought to pass off a copyright holder’s materials as his own. Rather, where defendant has used materials from Hogewash!, he appears to have generally included attribution, in one form or another, to Hoge. Nevertheless, defendant did not include a hyperlink to plaintiff’s website, because—as defendant explained at the hearing—he did not want to increase visitor “traffic” to plaintiff’s website.

– Judge Hollander in the Memorandum to deny Hoge’s preliminary injunction

Additionally, Judge Hollander seems inclined to believe that Schmalfeldt’s use, at least most of the time, could be defended under Fair Use, and although not specifically state, seemed to imply the use might even be de minimus.  Even in the case of longer uses of Hoge’s intellectual property, the Judge seemed inclined to dismiss.

To be sure, the blog posts and associated comments that defendant published in books or ebooks, see Counts I through III, appear to be somewhat lengthier than the materials implicated in other counts. Of particular relevance to plaintiff’s Motion, however, no such book or ebook has been offered for sale after April 2014.

– Judge Hollander in the Memorandum to deny Hoge’s preliminary injunction

To be clear, this is a very early point in the lawsuit, and the first thing decided, but it does not look as if Judge Hollander is looking favorably on Hoge’s case at the moment.  In fact, Hoge may not have a case at all.  Judge Hollander seemed undecided at the moment on whether or not applying for registration is sufficient.  Of course, this memorandum was not the proper place to make the final ruling, but Judge Hollander did not seem impressed with Hoge’s evidence of filing for registration.

Even if an application for a copyright is sufficient to meet the registration requirement, it is not obvious that plaintiff has made an adequate showing. “A litigant may prove registration under th[e] Application Approach by showing ‘payment of the required fee, deposit of the work in question, and receipt by the Copyright Office of a registration application.’” Caner, 2014 WL 2002835, at *13 (quoting Apple Barrel Prods., Apple Barrel Prods., Inc. v. Beard, 730 F.2d 384, 386-87 (5th Cir. 1984)). In support of plaintiff’s claim that he has submitted copyright applications covering all the materials at issue, he introduced at the hearing an exhibit purporting to be a printout depicting a U.S. Copyright Office website. See Pla. Hrg. Exh. 1 at 1. It is not a self-authenticating document, however. See Fed. R. Evid. 902.

– Judge Hollander in the Memorandum to deny Hoge’s preliminary injunction

It looks as if it is time for Hoge to put in some extra hours on his copyright infringement case, perhaps by focusing on counts I through III and providing proper proof of applying for registration.

Am I getting a visit from a serial twitter from Maryland?

Running Wolf Blog was recently threatened with being charged with a violation of Alabama Code 13A-11-8, the Harassment law.  As this blog has already completely fisked the possibility of being charged under that law, we wouldn’t be Running Wolf Blog if we didn’t look into it further.  After getting a hint or two from our Friendly Neighborhood Lawyer, Running Wolf Blog looked into what would be required for us to be charged with a violation of 13A-11-8.

Side note: the rest of this post will be on the assumption that Running Wolf Blog is, in fact, in violation of 13A-11-8.  Running Wolf Blog categorically denies that anything this blog has published is in any way in violation of 13A-11-8.  We are proceeding with the faulty assumption for the purpose of education on Alabama Criminal Procedure.

Assuming a serial twitter in Maryland did call the Huntsville Police Department and/or the Madison County Sheriff’s department (both of whom can be reached at the non-emergancy line of  256-722-7100 for Huntsville Police and 256-722-7181 for the Sheriff), what exactly would happen?  In short, probably not much.  I’ve heard the serial twitter from Maryland speak on blog radio, and must say given a sympathetic ear, the twitter can be quite persuasive, so this blog will assume that after making the call to the Law Enforcement Office of choice, it is possible that that the serial twitter may just convince an officer to look into it further.  Here is the first roadblock along the way to the arrest of anyone at Running Wolf Blog.

13A-11-8 is a Class C Misdemeanor, and as such a police officer generally can not make an arrest based on the strength of an accusation.  In Alabama, police may only arrest misdemeanor crimes if the misdemeanor is committed in their presence.  There are several exceptions to this rule, as expressed in Alabama Code 15-10-3, the law that covers arrests without a warrant.  One of those exceptions is misdemeanor’s that occur under 13A-11-8.

Oh no, that’s the law Running Wolf Blog is being threatened with!  We better take a closer look at 15-10-3.

(8) When an offense involves domestic violence as defined by this section, and the arrest is based on probable cause, regardless of whether the offense is a felony or misdemeanor.

(b) For the purpose of this section, the following terms have the following meanings:

(1) ABUSE. Any offense under Sections 13A-6-60 to 13A-6-70, inclusive, or under Sections 26-15-1 to 26-15-4, inclusive.

(2) ASSAULT. Any offense under Sections 13A-6-20 to 13A-6-25, inclusive.

(3) FAMILY, HOUSEHOLD, OR DATING OR ENGAGEMENT RELATIONSHIP MEMBERS. Includes a spouse, former spouse, parent, child, or any other person related by marriage or common law marriage, a person with whom the victim has a child in common, a present or former household member, or a person who has or had a dating or engagement relationship.

(4) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Any incident resulting in the abuse, assault, harassment, or the attempt or threats thereof, between family, household, or dating or engagement relationship members.

(5) HARASSMENT. Any offense under Section 13A-11-8.

Alabama Code 15-10-3-8.  Emphisis and strike through added by your host for clarity.

So an officer can make an arrest on probable cause without a warrant under 13A-11-8 if, and only if, the parties involve have a family, household, or dating or engagement relationship.  Thankfully, this blog has none of those with the serial twitter from Maryland.

So if the twitter from Maryland was persuasive enough, the officer may launch an investigation, such as reading this blog.  That would be great, since Running Wolf Blog believes our writing stands for itself, but assuming our Maryland based twitter was convincing enough that a dishonest police officer wanted to take the case forward, what would he do?  He would present his case to a Assistant District Attorney, who would then make the decision of whether or not the case is winnable, if the witnesses are reliable, and if after everything else the ADA could present it to a judge to get a warrant.  Running Wolf Blog will not speculate on the likelihood of that happening except to note some fella name’d Slim just left the room.

So exactly how would the serial twitter from Maryland file a charge under 13A-11-8?  It’s really quite easy, all the twitter would have to do is go before a judge or magistrate.  In the county he alleges the the crime took place.  That would be Madison County, Alabama.  Since this serial twitter from Maryland has already threatened a criminal charge against this blog, that must mean he doesn’t intend to violate this blog’s 6th Amendment rights, so the twitter must have already planned on making multiple trips to Alabama the Beautiful, and by multiple trips, I mean that a class c misdemeanor in Huntsville is first heard at the municipal level, and both the defense and the prosecution will get an automatic appeal to circuit court, and with delays, discovery and other pre-trial shenanigans, the serial twitter from Maryland will be spending days if not weeks visiting the beautiful countryside of the Heart of Dixie.

Assuming after his initial visit before a judge a warrant is issued and a prosecutor, after seeing the tweets issued today that confirms, to the detail, my story of yesterday, and finding out that i’ve had next to none direct communication with the serial twitter from Maryland that wasn’t initiated by that individual, decided to prosecute at all.  Did I mention Slim has left the room?

The Right to remain silent…

As I discussed yesterday, one of the great constitutional rights we wall share is the right to remain silent.  It is not a passive right, but a right that must be actively engaged.  There is another aspect of the right that we should consider.

He has the right to remain silent. He lacks the wisdom to do so.

WJJ Hoge in a comment on his blog.

If I were a serial twitter from Maryland who just claimed I was going to file harassment charges against a blogger in Alabama in which the blogger in Alabama has accused me of the production of porn, and has further specified that the term producer in his blog post is being used as the meaning used in Part 2257 of the federal code, then I would probably remain silent about if I had actually done such a thing.  As long as I remain silent, the burden of truth remains entirely on that Alabama blogger.

Of course, if I lack the wisdom to do so, then I may turn to Twitter and issue a serious of twits whereby I claim to have done exactly what the blogger from Alabama claims that I had done in his blog post.  That should make my time on the stand in the Harassment criminal charge against the Alabama Blogger a very interesting time for me.  Gosh, I’d be forced to admit on the stand that what he said is true, and therefore not harassment.  At that point, I wonder how many Prosecutors in Alabama would be willing to move forward with the case and actually bring it to trial?  Over a Class C Misdemeanor, in which the primary witness admits to doing what the primary witness called harassing communication claims that the witness did?  Of course there is the additional hurdle that the Alabama Blogger was communicating about the me, and not to me, but let’s not quibble over unimportant things like the black letter of the law.

It is an interesting thought experiment, but I don’t suggest that it be put to the legal test, since it opens all sorts of nasty doors that have blowback on the serial twitter from Maryland.

Weather Rolling Through

Field Day here in North Alabama has been cut short.  Serious thunderstorms have moved through the area, forcing the dismantling of all the portable stations.  Never did get to try and work W3JJH, but there may be future times when we can see if we can contact each other.  Scarier is that a lightning strike well before the storm hit was dangerously close to our stations.  Once everyone’s eyes cleared and ears could hear, there was a mad scramble to get the gear down.  It was a leading edge strike a good 20 minutes before we thought we’d be tearing down.  Much later, my ears are still ringing.

Side Note: Is anyone else a Ham?  Perhaps we should see about about trying to meet on the airwaves sometime.

After getting down the mountain, I’m now safe in the house listening to the thunder and watching the windows flash.  I’ve always enjoyed a good thunderstorm, the sound is awesome and the smell after a good thunderstorm is so clean.  But after that lightning strike, I’m not afraid to admit I’m still a bit skittish.  Lightning is a scary force of nature, in it’s own way every bit as powerful as a tornado or any other natural disaster.

Unless you’re close to a strike, it is easy to ignore.  According to the National Weather Services, there have been over 110,000 lightning strikes in the US in the past 2 hours (as of this writing) with no reported injuries.  In 2012, Alabama had two deaths from Lightning strikes, one here in my hometown.  Considering the millions of times Lightning strikes the state in a year, that doesn’t sound so bad.  Unless you are the one hit, of course.

So while I can console myself with the stats, it doesn’t help that I still have spots in my eyes and my ears are still ringing.